First we must understand the relationship shared between a journey and a destination, and then make sense of their differences if we’re to recognise why cheating is a journey and not a destination. One important thing to know about cheating is that most people believe it’s a decision made by someone but what they fail to realise is that cheating can also decide to embrace an individual.
You can be faced with a situation where a man or woman who shows interest in you is fully aware of your status, but is still happy to involve themselves with you while promising secrecy. What I mean by this is that everyone is subject to cheating. You may yourself be a completely honest individual with no intention to go out and cheat on your partner…
…However, cheating doesn’t always require someone to go out of their way for it to take place.
What if cheating came to you? It’s easy to sit there and think you won’t allow it to happen, but earlier I said that everyone is subject to cheating. Allow me to be more specific and say everyone is subject to the journey towards cheating. So in light of this, I pose this question to you:
“How can you avoid a journey towards cheating if you are unaware of the signs, and that cheating is in fact a journey and not a destination?”
This article should enable you to better identify the signs along the journey to cheating and how to ensure that you do not become a victim of cheating where you believe you had no control over the situation. The truth is, once you are aware of a journey that can ultimately lead to cheating, especially one that you have no intention of taking; you’ll have full control over the situation.
I want to start by fast forwarding to the point where men and women begin to differentiate between emotional cheating and physical cheating in hope of finding a reason to justify cheating. There are usually two types of people that think like this:
People who have cheated in the past or are prone to cheating again and use this to give their actions meaning or in fact, reduce meaning of their actions (“It was just a sex/a kiss, it didn’t mean anything”).
People who cannot come to terms with the reality that someone would cheat on them, and then set an expectation that they will be cheated on while force feeding themselves a reason that will allow them to continue to look at their partner in the face with minimal pain.
Regardless of the type of cheating that anyone has been involved in, what needs to be understood is that their decision to cheat or to allow cheating to manifest, was a conscious one.
I now need you to engage your visual capabilities and visualise cheating in the form of an actual road that begins at “Point A” and ends at “Point B”. I am going to title that road “The Assumed Cheating Pathway”, and it should look something like this:
The problem with this pathway is that it implies that “Point A” will always lead to “Point B” which suggests that if a decision to cheat is made at “Point A” or an individual is embraced by cheating at “Point A”, it’s as good as a done deal. It also suggests that there is no control over the situation once it arises which can in some instances; set the foundations for insecurities to grow within someone.
I am not a strong believer in the saying: “A leopard never changes its spots” because when referring to people, it theorizes that we are incapable of changing our attitude if we are seeking to better ourselves. We are an adaptable race who adapt to survive or ensure survival of something we have built e.g. a relationship.
So let’s say for arguments sake that someone has cheated in the past (current or previous partner), this pathway suggests that they will always cheat but however, just because someone may have cheated in the past, this doesn’t always mean they’ll always end up at “Point B”.
So now I want you to visualise a new road which begins at “Point A and ends at “Point B” but allows room for decisions to be made. I am going to title this road: “The Actual Cheating Pathway” and it should look something like this:
This pathway offers an individual full control of where they end up. A decision or an inbound force of cheating at “Point A” doesn’t determine where the individual will end up. The individual does. Allow me to place this in context. Along any journey towards cheating there are a few things that happen within an individual’s mind:
- The individual thinks about the worst case scenario (getting caught)
- The individual questions themselves
- The individual thinks about their partner
We can all agree that this individual is making a conscious decision. But the most important point to understand is that the worst part of cheating takes place along the journey.
Why is this…?
This is because each conscious thought is a crossroad along the journey to cheating which can range from a low number to a high one.
Each time an individual continues their journey towards this destination, the less respect they have for their partner. Cheating is ultimately based on how much respect you have for your partner. When you understand that in a relationship, you are a representation of your partner, it will also be based on how much respect you have for yourself. So even if the destination is physical cheating, emotional, a kiss, or sacrificing your partner’s time for another, the above mental thought process will still be in effect and therefore, placing the respect you have for your partner and your own self respect on the line.
Crossroads along the journey leave room for human error and human naivety which allows us turn a situation around when we acknowledge we’re on a road that leads to an undesirable destination. This in turn, gives us the choice to whether or not we cheat or allow an equally potential situation to embrace us.
Cheating Is A Journey And Not A Destination
In light of all this, it’s very important to think about this: what happens when cheating occurs because you know longer want to be with your partner? This is a whole different perspective that will be explained in Part Two.