What’s the use in protecting or reserving something that no longer holds value? Sex is at the forefront of our world in a variety of forms, and with each form being readily accessible to many, it’s no surprise the value of sex has dropped… tremendously. Let’s begin with getting the good side to sex out of our systems. Sex is wonderful in whatever way pleases you:
- Both bodies in close proximity
- The physical satisfaction
- The emotional overflow
- Eyes in constant flicker because you have the option to choose between imagination and reality.
In short, we embody the idea of sex just as sex embodies us with a cloudy wall. Now that we have the good side of sex out of our systems, the question now is what’s left…?
Some people believe that the beauty of sex lies in its spontaneity, but if the same principle was applied throughout our lives there would be no such thing as forward thinking. By eliminating your ability to think ahead, you become subject to overrated sex; and this is because although the act of sex itself is satisfying, the aftermath has so much more of an impact because it takes all the focus off “how good” the sex was and instead you’re often left thinking…
“…was it worth it?”
Why must something that is supposed to be so beautiful leave many feeling far from? The truth that people must understand is that the feeling you experience during the sex and the feeling that you experience after sex, walk hand in hand. Allow me to place this into context.
Sex is an enhancer which in some way shares similar principles as makeup. Any makeup artist will tell you that cosmetic makeup is a beauty enhancer which is used to enhance the beauty that already exists. They will also explain to you that makeup can be used to create a facade; a superficial appearance or an illusion of something.
So how does sex work as an enhancer?
The physical act of sex alone is never overrated but sex is never just sex. The outcome of sex (as in the feeling after sex) can be determined by what was before it. Sex works as an enhancer by enhancing what you and the other person involved build before it. So for argument’s sake, let’s take two individuals who are physically attracted to each other but have yet to get to know one another as people.
They prematurely have sex based on lust for each other. Lust will be enhanced by sex which in most cases drives the individuals to seek more sex from each other while getting to know each other has yet to flourish. Just to capture your mind further I am going to assume we have all had “conversation after hours” or as some people know it as “pillow talk”. Once sex becomes a topic that is accepted, it will usually ALWAYS be the topic until it’s actually happens. This takes major focus away from getting to know the person. In turn, you only get to know about their desires for you.
Now a person who values sex but may have been caught in a moment of lust experiences a feeling of worthlessness after. This is because they’re disappointed in themselves. They stood firmly against values which were lost in a moment. So although the sex itself was a great 3 or 30mins, this feeling of disappointment in oneself lingers on for much longer.
In contrast to the above, let’s take another two individuals who are also physically attracted to each other but allow room for getting to know each other to the extent where they (within their hearts) have committed themselves to one another (I guess we can call this love). Love will be enhanced by sex, and when you think of all the things that are associated with love, they become the things sex enhances.
- Support for each other
- The drive to want to see each other
- Emotional and physical attachment
…and that’s just to name a few.
We need to get into the habit of having sex in the correct context and I speak to women on this count because men can only go as far as a woman will allow him to. Allow me to place this into context.
Visualise relationships as a circle which contain important things such as: Time, Attention, Love and Sex…
Now in most cases, men acquire some of the things a woman has to offer outside of a relationship. So for instance, her Time & Attention…
Over the correct amount of time, he may even get her Love…
Now in theory, the only thing left in the relationship circle is sex…
In my opinion, at this stage a man already has what he needs from a woman to build something that after being enhanced by sex can create something that lasts. He has the tools he needs pave his way into a relationship. But if a man gets sex as well as all the other things from a woman…
… what real incentive does a man have to walk into a relationship?
What you may find is the hard work a man was putting towards being in a relationship is rewarded… prematurely. Women have the power to turn a man who just wants sex into a man who wants a relationship and a man who wants a relationship to a man who just wants sex.
Who continues to work hard for something they have already received?
This should be an insight into a man’s perspective. This in turn leads to men keeping out of relationships while obtaining what multiple women have to offer…
How would you feel if you were one of the women within in that relationship circle? Men require a challenge which requires women to protect reserve and retain what they have to offer until a man can prove he is worthy. This process will instil worth within men and women and for each other.
Nothing is stopping you from having sex when you want and with who you want, but just be aware that sex is overrated… but only in the wrong context.