The Levels of Dating

Dating is not a word that people are unfamiliar with. Although, it is a word that people are careful with when associating themselves with it. This tends to be because of the many definitions that surround dating. When it comes to dating in cities where the culture, social groups, values and race are extremely diverse, it should be no surprise that dating harbours just as many definitions as an uncertain man has reasons to avoid commitment.

So in light of the given circumstances, dating is more than likely to retain its multiple definition title. So instead of giving dating another definition or meaning, the key to successful dating is by giving dating a purpose.

Sooo… How do you give dating a purpose?

Let me begin with a basic explanation of dating: dating is a form of courtship where two people participate in social activities in the hope of getting to know each other better.

I mentioned above that dating should be given a purpose, and depending where you consider yourself to be in life, you have two to choose from:

  •  Getting to know the person you are dating


  • Getting to know yourself

To some, it may be pretty obvious but the truth is people rarely consider dating as a method in getting to know themselves. Dating is no different than an experiment, and those who have been involved in secondary school level scientific experiments will remember that not every experiment goes right.

But the two most important findings that are evaluated following any experiment is what went wrong and more importantly, what you did wrong. So in a nutshell, dating is simply collecting data! You can either choose to collect data on the person you are dating to assess their suitability with you or you can collect data on yourself.

Allow me to place this in to context.

I specifically titled this article ‘The Levels of Dating’ and the reason for that is to establish a form of progression through ‘levels’. Where you consider yourself to be in life or your emotional journey will determine what purpose you choose to give dating: the purpose of getting to know someone (collecting data from someone) or getting to know yourself (collection data from yourself). In saying that, you must understand that you cannot get to know someone else if you do not yet know yourself.

But I believe I know myself enough to date with a purpose of getting to know someone else

I mentioned earlier that there are so many different definitions of dating.  I believe dating is a progressive pathway. We go from being complete strangers to being lovers, husbands or wives but in today’s world, dating is a primarily regressive pathway.

How so?

When a person finds out that they are no longer ‘that’ interested in the other person or deem them unsuitable for a relationship, they do not instantly dropped them but instead they regress them to a lower ranking position i.e. shag buddy or pass time lover. As people we believe we are honest enough to establish a mutual agreement where we understand the situation and accept it for what it is but in reality, to keep someone strung along for long enough, we give them hope.

By keeping the prospect of a life together alive, the door is kept open long enough to take as much as you want from that person before the door slams shut! But that’s veering off in to a completely different topic. But this is sometimes a result of not knowing yourself as well as you think you do. When I speak of knowing yourself in the context of dating, I am referring to understanding what you like in someone, what you don’t like in someone, attractions, turn offs and things that can only sometimes be experienced before they’re understood. This gives you a basis for further trail or elimination.

Dating actually sounds pretty useful

Dating is a useful method that can be used in getting to know more about yourself or getting to know someone else. Despite what you may think your type is, people always find that they like things they thought they wouldn’t or dislike the things they thought they would like.

So before you jump in to a ‘let’s see how things go’ type of relationship, tests the waters and see how things go while dating someone. Just remember to give your ‘dating’ a purpose supported by what you would ultimately want out of dating.

Let’s bring back progressive dating.

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4 thoughts on “The Levels of Dating”

  1. Just stumbled upon your blog after going through the embarrassing process of exhausting all methods and then finally typing ‘how to get over somebody’ into the Google search bar. I read ‘Getting Over the Feeling of Getting Over Someone | A Rare Perspective’ and then this post. Whilst reading I just assumed the writer was female, I actually work to eliminate gender stereotypes and I I just stereotyped you! Anyway my point was wow this was a very helpful blog post and I actually think I may consider dating, I’ve never really dated but this seems like something I really should have invested time in and I never ever thought of it as a way to get to know myself, which is definitely something I need to do right now. Thanks for the blog, and sorry for the stereotyping! Its actually very refreshing to be reminded that not all men are completely against reflecting on relationships and such.

    1. Thank you so much got your comment Yasemin. Oh, and never mind the stereotypes. It happens lol I’m glad you found it useful and you should check out an article I have called “The Levels of Dating” 🙂

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