It’s to my understanding that we currently live in a world where so long as you have no expectations, you have mentally signed a contract that protects you against disappointments. So in light of this, expectations are lowered, and in turn, or shall I say theoretically, we are less likely to be disappointed. The mistake men and women make during this process is that instead of lowering their expectations, they have high expectations for the opposite sex to disappoint. In contrast to common belief, most people that tend not to have expectations are those that cannot handle the pressures of being expected from.
Allow me to elaborate…
Expectations are a measurement of what you are prepared to do for that person. When that person doesn’t live up to your expectations, what tends to happen is, what you are prepared to do for them is reduced. Conversely, if you don’t live up to their expectations, what they are prepared to do for you is reduced. This is something we have all experienced at numerous points in our lives so even though most people would claim they do not have expectations, expectations act as a bench mark that consciously and subconsciously determines how much you are prepared to do for someone; and thus, expectations are mirrored. There’s nothing wrong with having expectations. It only becomes a problem when you can’t hold up your end of the deal.
Unsurprisingly enough, the tools some people are using to build the foundations of their relationships, is what leads to individuals harbouring expectations beyond reason. Let’s begin by taking that word ‘individuals’. I want you to think of different situations where you may find individuals…
No really, stop reading and have a little think about it.
Think… Think… Think…
Of all the things you thought about, you probably didn’t think about relationships. This comes as no surprise since a relationship is not a playground for individuals. So in plain English, relationships are not made up of two individuals. However, two individuals can make up a relationship.
You’re probably thinking… “What does he mean?” What I mean is you can’t expect a relationship that involves two individuals to last. Individuals will always put their own needs first and when pushed into a corner, their first reaction will be to escape… alone. The strength of a relationship can only be measured when pressure is applied to it. It goes without saying that a sense of individualism must be retained, but in the language of love, what you want isn’t necessarily what your relationship needs.
Will it sustain, or will it break?
How does this relate back to expectations? If you chose to be an individual in a relationship, then you can expect to end up an individual. Every action can lead to a particular reaction, and it only takes experience to feed the intuition that tells us what we can expect from our own actions. You should now understand that relationships are not made up of individuals but instead are made up of the expected and the expected from. This ultimately creates a bond that breaks down individualism and creates a harmonious relationship. So there really isn’t anything wrong with expectations. Just be prepared to be expected from.