Who is someone else to tell you what you should believe, what you should say or not to mention, how you should act. We live in a city where people place more emphasis on the lives of others than their own. We are all individuals with individual lives, individual ambitions and individual paths in life.
People needn’t concern themselves about our actions. Well, that is of course, until you have made a commitment of the heart – a relationship.
Let’s begin with that word – commitment.
The common misconception is that commitment is a means to entrapment. So in light of this, people distance themselves from the word’s misconception as oppose to its genuine meaning. Allow me to place this into context. Have you ever experienced a feeling that you were not going to achieve what you set out to do?
Whether it was an interview for a job you believed was out of your league, a piece of coursework that you believed you wouldn’t make the deadline for or better still, a relationship that you didn’t believe was going to work out – in short, doubt. The thing is, you wanted that job, you wanted to get that coursework in on time and you wanted the relationship to work out. You didn’t fear what you wanted; you feared the misconception of what you believed.
“He who says he can and he who says he can’t are both usually right” – Confucius
People who say that they are afraid of commitment aren’t lying to you, they’re lying to themselves. Our everyday lives are made up of commitments we have made such as employment, mobile phone contracts, and utilities. If you think about it, is there really much difference between work and a relationship? Let’s make a reference back to the beginning…
Who is someone else to tell you what you should believe, what you should say or not to mention, how you should act. We are all individuals with individual lives, individual ambitions and individual paths in life.
When you have made a commitment with work, that person is your employer. They can ask that you believe in the company’s beliefs. They can tell you what to say, and they can tell you how to act. In the grand scheme of things, you don’t have to do any of these things but in not doing so; you put your job at risk. So again, is there really much difference between work and a relationship?
The fact is a commitment is somewhat a small sacrifice of oneself. The act of committing is better understood as pledging or engaging oneself. If you have chosen to work, you have chosen to sacrifice some of your time. If you have chosen to sign a mortgage agreement, you have chosen to sacrifice some of your money.
So as you can see, a person who claims to afraid of commitment is a person who is probably commitment and contract free throughout their life. These commitments can give us as much stress and anxiety as relationships can however, it’s not the commitment you fear, it’s the misconception of what you believed.
We will always retain a sense of individuality in our lives. In fact, it is paramount that we do so what you continue to understand who you are as you battle with the ravages of time. But just remember, when you make a commitment of the heart, you no longer do things for yourself. You do things for the relationship.
Your actions are your own. So of course you can do what you want but sometimes what you want isn’t what your relationship needs.