The Vows You Made Before You Were Born

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“Till death do us part” – a quote taken from the common book of prayers and readily remembered as part of the vows two people make during a wedding ceremony. It’s meaning? It signifies the spiritual union of two souls up until one of spouses ceases to live on this earth. I guess it makes perfect sense. During the time of your life here on earth, your soul is bound to the living world but when you pass, your soul transcends to the next stage of life. In line with ones wedding ceremony, the promise was kept. This is undoubtedly subject to what you believe, but what do you believe?


Weddings symbolise the union of one of the many types of relationships we experience in this world. It’s principles can be transferred between other relationships such as a job offer and offer acceptance – the relationship between employee and employer. The union between student and teacher and even the often informal union between friends. These are all important relationships that we as humans experience in this world, but what about the relationships that we are born into?

The common belief is that we were born without choice into relationships such as being a sister or brother to an older sibling. Automatically given the title, ‘son’ or ‘daughter’ to a mother or father we did not choose. Outside of being born into relationships, we are born with the capacity to form these relationships. Like a HD Ready TV, we possess the capability through means of reproductive organs, and whilst understanding that some may not possess these, they still possess the qualities that are essential to nurturing these relationships. The question at this point is, did we really have no choice in the relationships we were born in to?


Some of you may have heard of the term ‘Indigo Children’. For those that haven’t, they’re simply described as children who remember. They possess high levels of conscious thoughts and awareness, and some of them even remember memories of their past life.

So maybe we did choose the relationships we were born into. But due to our current level of consciousness, we are unable to remember anything from the life we had before our current one. To believe that you didn’t have a life before your current one is to push aside all belief in the soul. I’ll let that one resonate with you for a while.

So what’s with all the history of relationships and whether we are born into some or not? What significance does it all hold?

It is my belief that we may have forgotten the importance of the relationships we born into (the relationships we chose) while we were at a higher level of consciousness (in soul/spirit form if you may). Due to our inability to remember, we place more emphasis on other not so important relationships with money and temporary friends for example, over the ones we were born into. I can only imagine that when we made the higher conscious decision to be the son or daughter to a parent, it was for one of two reasons (potentially both):

1. To help them in/through life.
2. For them to help us in/through life.

When you think about it, the above reasons are what family is fundamentally about! At work, there is no such thing as an excuse for not doing your job. Failure to fulfil your role results in a number of punishments. So we work as hard as we can to do our role even when there is a breakdown in relationship between employee and employer. We openly accept this. But why is it that when a similar breakdown in relationship presents itself within the family, some people tend to escape their role and clothe their doing so with excuses like “we just can’t get along”. Perhaps, your mission was to, regardless of the circumstances, find a way to get along? Just think about what the effects of achieving that mission could accomplish…

The say that charity starts at home. How you conduct yourselves with others in the world is almost certainly connected to how you conduct yourself with those at home. I’m referring to actions pertaining to an authentic level – who you are and not who you pretend to be in the world.

We are living in a fast paced world where everything is expected to be done with haste. Because of this, is it so hard to believe that we may have lost the ability to be patient? Not “one more chance and I’m done” type of patience, but patience in understanding another person’s way of thinking. Without patience, you can never truly understand another person. Just because people belong to your family, it doesn’t mean you’ll automatically understand them either. Broken family or not, every family still together has experienced pressures that could break them. What do you think kept them together?


In some cases, all it takes it one. One person who despite the difficulties, continued to play their role.  So if there is one message I can leave you with, it’s this:

Life in your role is best lived without regret. So even if your parents or siblings aren’t playing their part, ensure you continue to play your role. Because time is a revealer. And at the time they realise they could have done more – the point at which they regret what they didn’t do – they’ll remember who continued to play their role. And it’s the person that plays their role who regrets nothing, but teachers others everything.

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