What we see on the outside often mirrors what we believe is dwelling inside. We understand a smile represents a happy person but seldom do we consider that the reserve might be true. An outward expression can also communicate what is missing within.
The soul cries out for attention while the ego fears vulnerability will be treated with further alienation. But at what cost is it worth appearing alive on the outside, albeit dying within?
A person that is happy with company but unhappy when alone, is not a happy person.
While it might be common to assume that loneliness and being alone fall from the same tree, loneliness is better categorised as one of the potential emotions that can derive from being alone. But that doesn’t necessarily suggest that being alone connotes an emotional imbalance, but rather the opposite.
When we are alone we are in the best position to measure and assess our overall wellbeing. Absent of life’s distractions, we’re forced to tune in to our inner world. There we are faced with our inner thoughts and inner feeling’s reverberatory need to be heard — not by others, but by you. If you’re not used to spending time with yourself, you might experience an unusual degree of dissonance when spending time alone with yourself. This can often lead to the need for external attention, which can momentarily offer solace. However, this should never be mistaken for a solution.
Some of us are in constant pursuit of relationships just to end the loneliness. But it’s our obsession with social media that is becoming the most virulent relationship of all.
Social media is the new escapism outlet.
People aren’t always sharing their problems to be understood. They are often sharing their problems to be heard. They believe that attention is a cure.
But these people are no stranger to the knowledge that numbing the pain doesn’t get rid of the problem. It only makes it more palpable.
Being alone is self-productive.
Being able to exercise our vulnerability can help us avoid depressive states brought on by an accumulation of our worries. But before we share our problems, we should equipped them with a self-purpose; to be understood and to obtain a better understanding of how we can overcome the feeling that follows us wherever we go.
It helps to review the last couple of weeks on a frequent basis:
- What have I achieved during this time?
- What have I found difficult in the past week?
- How can I improve on this in the upcoming weeks?
- Why was I feeling angry last Thursday?
We are but a growing story deep inside an even bigger novel, and the last thing you want to happen is to be left behind in your own story.
This should serve as a reminder that true happiness comes from within and not in the form of short lived feelings that dissipate once the experience is over. Be the type of person that doesn’t seek happiness but instead acquires the ability to become happiness at will.
A must read if you have more pressing concerns around depression: HAPPINESS: DEFENDING AGAINST THE ONSET OF DEPRESSION