29 thoughts on “About Charles Rare”

  1. I am the Makeup Artist who did the makeup on the young lady in your recent post. First off, thank you for being an educated person and speaking accurately on the issue. I have seen this picture, and so many others of my clients, circulating the web but in a more negative light, and that’s not fair. Not to my clients or to my artistry. I am an artist and I am amazing at what I do. If you would need me to say a few things or if you would like to state that I am the one responsible for this look, in case anyone has questions or if your readers have this same issue, please feel free to contact me. My email is alexandrabutlermua@yahoo.com. My FB is http://www.facebook.com/alexandrabutlermua. And you can follow me on instagram/twitter @themuaalex.

  2. Hi, i would just like your perspective on something that i feel sometimes plays a part. Why does culture make exceptions for men to cheat, allow mothers and sisters to turn blind eyes to sons or brothers cheating on other mens daughters or other guys sisters.. Why does society except that its ok for men to cheat? Doesnt loyalty mean anything anymore?

    1. Hi Sarah, I appreciate your questions. If I were to be blunt with you, I would say that we don’t have a choice on society’s influence on the majority but in saying that, I always say that just because something is of the majority, it doesn’t make it acceptable. What I mean is instead of worrying about something we have no control over (and the mistake people make is making themselves believe they can control what they really can’t- if anything, society gives people that “hope”) we should focus on what we can control. For example, when getting to know someone you may want to establish whether you have common values with someone rather than just common interests (read the article “Relationships Are Built On Relationships”) Find out what a mans view on cheating it. By listening to him speak, you should be able to determine a mans understanding and passion against cheating. You also want to ensure that you being a part of society does not play a role in allowing a man to cheat on you (read article “Cheating is A Journey, Not A Destination”).
      In terms of younger boys, educate them young but some of the older men are far too lost on their ways. In short, focus on your life and those around you and hopefully they’ll focus on their life and those around them and if this creates a chain reaction, it will have a greater effect on a larger scale. So my perspective is for you to change your perspective or focus shall I say. I hope this helps 🙂

    1. I personally feel that before you think about progressing in life, you need to have something to progress in. Progression can occur in many things; family, relationships, careers or even something as simple as a skill. Let me break down for you… Life is made up of so many journeys, right? Most journeys have a destination, right? So if you want to progress in life, you need to journey towards your chosen destinations in life. That’s progression. It’s funny you mention positive thinking because positive thinking is the fuel that progression runs on. Most people force themselves to think positively, and that’s okay but if life denies them the rewards for their positive thinking, they will be susceptible to adopting a negative way of thinking. A more durable type of positive thinking comes with the understanding as to why you should think positively. So my question for you to think about is why do you want to have a positive out look on life? Throw some answer at me. The answers you’ll probably give me will be the answers that will give you the reason for continuing to adopt a positive mindset in life.

  3. hi i need some advise, i have been in a relationship for three yrs. now, we have had really good times but we have also had bad times. Recently my partner confesseed that he cheated on me on two occasions with the same girl. He told me the reason why he wanted to tell me was because he wanted us to have a fresh start . I did not take this very well as i had worked out that the time he cheated we were having problems.My reaction at first was calm as i had decided to forgive him. But as the days went on i found myself getting more angry and upset, which lead to a massive argument. i don’t think i even been so angry I really said a lot of disrespectful things to him that day which i didn’t mean and now he thinks I don’t respect him. This led to my parther seeing a different side of me. Which has resulting in him saying that he does not know if he can be with such a person.
    I m confused because i feel like although it was wrong to be rude and disrespectful that one time, he has forgotton that he has cheated on me twice… he has twisted the whole thing on me when he knows that i am a very calm and kind person.

    What do you think i should do?

    1. This tend’s to be a difficult one. The reason refer to it as difficult is that at the point he told came clean about cheating, you accepted it. What I mean is, you allowed things to go on as normal. I’m sure you both had your talks about the issue but the real question is: did you give yourself time to deal with the real feelings inside you? You have allowed a seed of anger and frustration to grow inside you but this doesn’t put you in the wrong. I’m just highlighting where you became part of the current problem. In saying that, you must understand that if he believed you had accepted him after being honest with you, then of course he won’t dwell on the fact that he cheated because technically, that’s a problem that has already been resolved on the outside. He probably wasn’t aware you hadn’t resolved it on the inside. Now all the above is an understanding I want you to acknowledge. The real question here is: what is it that you really want to do? Now if you know what you want to do, then you have probably had enough time to think about it and go with that answer. But I am going to assume you don’t know since you are here. In that case, you need time from this relationship to figure out it’s future. Before you decide to take any time out, you need to approach him and level with him. Break everything down to your own understanding (how you haven’t dealt with the fact that he has cheated/justify the build up of anger/reinforce the focus of the issue-Cheating) and then give him your conclusion (time to deal with it). Now I want you to read my article on cheating which you can find on my blog. It’s called “cheating is a journey, not a destination”. The idea of this article was for people to understand cheating on a deeper level. Without me saying much about it, this may help you while learning to identify the signs later. I hope this was useful to you.

      – Mr. Rare

  4. Your with a guy, everything is as good as can be. He goes away to visit family abroad, as you can imagine he is really busy. Soon, messages are less frequent to the point where you are ignored & start to feel like a pest. Confusion at its finest. Any thoughts?

    1. Hi, this is a very late response and I apologise. I never saw it at the time it was posted. I always say that even if someone is really busy, they’re never that busy. Everyone always has time for someone. If they aren’t making time for you then believe that they are making time for someone. There are times when we need to look at someone’s actions more than listening to their words. If you are starting to feel like pest, then It’s because they have allowed you to feel like that due their lack of interest. Although this response is very outdated, keep it moving. Someone who is interested will not make you feel like that

  5. Hi,I need some advise! My relationship is basically tearing apart . I’ve been with this guy for 2 years and we’ve had our fair share of problems.We’ve both cheated on each other and are currently in a long distance relationship. I can’t explain how stressful this is! Anyway, I’ve given him so many chances in this relationship and I’ve always believed he would change.He hardly respected females and I’m so proud of the man he has become now.My only problem is that he finds it difficult to say no women who try get with him.A few days ago he had to leave home just to avoid this woman because he felt like being in a room alone with her will make him cheat.We argue a lot as well and any time there’s a problem and I try talking to him about it he ends up making me look like the bad person . This has been going on for too long now and hes stopped doing the little things he used to do for me.I normally can’t stand all that so I end up breaking up with him and this is the part where I really don’t get! Right after I breakup with him,he becomes the perfect partner and is actually there for me in every way possible but right when I take him back, he goes back to doing what I dislike . I really don’t know what to do anymore. It’s like we don’t understand each other anymore.I love him and want him to sort himself out.

  6. What is you’re take on “having too much of something good can become something bad”
    For example in a relationship, if they spend too much time together they’ll grow more and more irritated about one another?
    By the way I love your insights and I could read them for days!
    I’m so glad I’ve found this page it has really opened my eyes about a few things

    1. I am on an apologetic streak due to not seeing people’s comments on my blog. I am only seeing this now. It reminds me of the quote: nothing in excess – so basically everything in moderation. I don’t believe there’s such as thing as spending too much time together but if spending time together stops you from also spending time with yourself and doing the things you did prior to meeting each other, you may risk the chance of losing yourself. It’s important to take some time part from each other so that you can spend some time with yourself. 🙂

      Thanks you for the lovely comments 🙂

  7. Hey,

    I would like to ask if you getting into a relationship and am has been 3 months is that expected to be way passed the early stages the relationship or is that way too soon to know that the relationship has passed the early stages?

    I feel like I was supportive and encouraging but I got a shock if my life that I wasn’t supportive nor was I encouraging. So I would like to know how much you can encourage someone in a relationship that it’s still in process of getting to know.
    How encouraging can you be to your in the first 3 months?

    1. Sorry for the delay, I have not been seeing my comments. I’m sure you’re past your 3 month period by now but who said there has to be a restraint on encouragement. From when strangers can encourage each other, encouragement for someone you like or love should have no limits.

      I’ve encouraged people I don’t know and I’ve encouraged people I’ve loved equally. Don’t worry about looking like you care too much because what you do is simply an accurate representation of how much you really do care!

  8. Hey,
    I’ve need a male perspective on this issue and you seem like the just the person. I wouldn’t like to think I have trust issues but it seems to be everytime I let my guard down for a guy I get messed around whether it be he has a new born child, he’s slept with a friend and failed to mention, he’s caught up in wrong ways of life etc. I’ve come across two guy who appeal to me and are very different to the type of guys who usually get my attention. Funnily enough they are both so very laid back and it’s like conversation with them is forced on my part. I wouldn’t like to use the terminology “friendzoned” however the vibe I’ve been is as though they both lacking interest now. I’m very easy to conversation with, down with the serious and humorous sides to life. I honestly don’t know whether I’m the problem or the guys I’m encountering are.

  9. (Sorry i just realised I left this comment in the wrong section: comments about you blog )) So my boyfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship (different unis in England for 3 years) it was hard but we made it work. Now he’s off to continue on with further education but he decided that we should no longer be in a relationship so he could focus on his studies. I agreed because I realised that all I was doing was complaining about how much time he wasn’t making for me and the lack of effort and to be honest I’d rather not nag if the reason for it is because he’s trying to study ,especially when he’s said he wants us to get together once he’s graduated. Thing is, he’s told me that if I meet someone during this year,”it would be ok if I wanted to be with them” as he doesn’t want to stop me from being happy. Well if what I know about guys is true, no guy who really wants to be with you will tell you that it’s ok to date someone else, and surely they would do everything in their power to make the relationship work not just call it quits and go on a break. ( We dated for 3 years in different cities and that was hard so what is another year? I mean Obama is president and still makes time for Michelle) People work , do masters, are married and have kids but they don’t tell their wives “hey I can’t be a husband and father coz I’m studying”. Should I wait around for him to finish or should I just get on with my own life and be happy?

    1. Thanks for getting in contact with me. I understand your situation but I am going to have to disagree with you on one point – “no guy who really wants to be with you will tell you that’s it’s ok to date someone else.” The truth is, a man that truly loves you and wants you to be happy does not make himself the only person that can make you happy. So in hindsight, you should take what he said he wants you to be happy whether that’s because of him or someone else. I remember a time when I had to make a similar decision. A lady I was seeing was ready for more but I knew I couldn’t offer her more because of my studies. She has met someone and I wanted her to explore it because while I wasnt in a position to give her what she deserved, another man was. Who am I to hold on to someone with no promise of the future when another man is bringing that future to her present?

      I see your point about making it work no matter what but what you have got to realise is that is exactly what you have both been doing! And it has lead to complaints of lack of time for you and I’m sure there has been more.

      You are both in a good position to be friends but what he is saying is if another man enters your life, dont fight it off. Because happiness often enters peoples lives when they’re holding on to what use to be or what could be.

      He said he would like to continue being with you after uni but I also believe he means, “no promises”

      I hope this helps.

  10. Thanks for the insight. I feel like I knew you would say that I just didnt want to feel like if I moved on and started talking to someone else I was being disloyal or selfish. I guess I felt like I should wait for him and give it a chance. But the future isn’t promised , the present is here and now and I should make myself happy, I guess I need to put myself first sometimes.

  11. Hi Charles,
    I committed the ultimate sin, last year and started seeing someone who belonged to someone else. In fact he is engaged and when we started his fiance was pregnant with their second child which they had this year. I know what your going to say. I was stupid and whatever i’m feeling I have brought upon myself, he basically used me.
    I have emailed you the full story, with the hope of getting some advice.
    Thanks

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