Tag Archives: beauty

Her Beauty Not Her Looks

From the transitory stages of physical appearance to abstract modern art, beauty has become one of the most versatile nouns bestowed upon the human tongue. All become acquiescent in it’s presence, and that in itself is why the word takes precedence over all the dictionary has to offer.

It’s as though beauty exists an entity that illuminates the life force that resides in all things. But what happens when the beauty that exist within does not appear on the surface? Is it right brand someone ‘without beauty’ simply because we fail to see it?

My perception on beauty has evolved over the years on purpose. And through my journey on developing a deeper and more meaningful connection with beauty, I’ve learned that beauty is a rarity that is only witnessed by those who endeavour to find it. The learned ‘beauty’ associated with TV ads that plague most social media platforms is a social construct, hence why it has to be constructed in a sense, but our innate sense of beauty merely involves understanding (ourselves) and building meaningful attachments.

Upon reaching this realisation I decided to share my expression of beauty through my partner. The following series titled, #HerBeautyNotHerLooks is spread across 20 images that I captured of her – each one specifying 1 thing I find beautiful about her without referring to her physical appearance. This was not a matter of listing words but instead forming a deeper connection with what I appreciate about her and what resonates within myself. There’s a caption that follows each picture:

Day 1

001 her beauty.jpg

A little personal campaign I’m doing for the next 20 days just because I want to.


Day 2


We all experience undesirable emotions that can often mould our personalities in undesirable ways. Honestly, letting go isn’t as straightforward as it sounds but once you acquire this power, every struggle will see an end.


Day 3


She was about to give me a mouthful without realising that she’s actually feeding my soul.


Day 4


Reflection is imperative. In doing so you can identify your growth. That allows you to trace your growth back to it’s roots. You see the lady in the image, I constantly find her at the root of many areas of my life. That alone is more than beauty.


Day 5


This time last year. This time next year. And her capacity to love has only strengthened, no, it has only become more visible. It has always been there. Such a force exists in us all.


Day 6


They say that if you can’t accept someone at their worst, you don’t deserve them at their best. Relationships are one of the best places to exercise that theory.
If all emotion makes us who we are, it would be unfair to favour one over the others. Therefore, no matter what the emotion, all I see beauty…


Day 7


Day 7 already!? I find solace in silence.


Day 8


Day 8 and this journey of reflection only grows more beautiful. Your strength and resilience can only be measured in times of struggle. To watch someone manoeuvre so diligently through the challenges life orchestrates, can only be described as a spectacle! This viewing never finished on a low.


Day 9


If you can’t accept what they’ve been through, you can never appreciate who they are.
Love runs deep. And what you see before you is only the front cover of the rest of your life.
Will you find yourself disengaging as the story thickens, or will your journey into their past help form a more deeper attachment? My experience of course is the latter.


Day 10


I could do this for well over 20 days but you see, beauty is far from one measurement based on one’s appearance. A few years back I began to question whether who I was calling beautiful was actually…beautiful. I was basically conditioning myself to see more in beauty than appearance. It was a worthwhile endeavour because the things most beautiful about my mother isn’t simply the way she looks. That’s the same mindset the allows me to see the hidden beauty in my partner.


Day 11


I mean…you know that myth – the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, right? That is no Myth at all! The cooking is a metaphor and a literally statement (is there a name when it’s both?) Her cooking delicious but what she feeds my soul is divine!


Day 12


We all know relationships aren’t all hearts and smiles but seldom do people want to talk and share these facets of their relationships. Perhaps they suffer from a fear of being judged so they choose to be judged on what they deem acceptable, such as photos of happy times, anniversary poses and gifts from their significant other…
So of course, it’s impossible to see beauty in what we do not familiarise oursleves with. This has either been you, will be you or maybe this is you right now. It’s okay. The strength to express is an art many of us are yet to master. Vulnerability remains a blank canvas. Your art set untouched.
Not us. We use tears and anger to paint a path of progress, with each stroke strengthing our right to love.


Day 13


Just a week left and today we’re celebrating. This goes out to her sense of achievement. What’s great about her success in today’s exam is that I’ve had backdoor access. I’ve observed the struggle, strength and strategy that led to this moment. While others might acknowledge the success as an isolated outcome, I observed the way in which she manoeuvred her way into this position. And that in itself is beauty. Well deserved babe.


Day 14


We already know nothing is this world is perfect. Especially us! We live life knowing it could be the last day and yet we still manage to carry on living. TRUMP WON THE ELECTION! But guess what? We will carry on living. We’ll carry on growing and if necessary, we will heal. And it’s that last part that is crucial in each of us. Healing is a special type of growth whereby the same area is reinforced – made to be stronger. When you truly heal, you’ll become immune to what broke you in the first place. Stronger forces deem you worthy. And by that I mean, more strength awaits you.
She is so beautiful when I hear stories of how she healed.


Day 15


My skin and hair haven’t every been in a better state. We often look upon natural beauty with envious eyes believing that how are some people more blessed than others in said department. But I’ve observed what happens behind closed doors. Adopting her lifestyle was a choice I won’t regret hence why the beauty I see is really in the what she’s shown me.


Day 16


I think one of the most underrated qualities in a relationship is presence. Think of everything else you’d consider fundamental in a relationship and then try to see if it could exist healthily without presence …exactly.


Day 17


There’s something deeply intimate about watching someone without them knowing. And then some captures a picture of the moment. That’s a look that reminds me that love is always present.


Day 18


You can’t see it, but this girl has a quality I think most girlfriends possess – the ability to become annoying at any given moment. But I can’t lie, it’s the cute type – still annoying, but what’s more annoying is that you can’t knock them for it. They’re like cats, and we have to feed their desire of attention otherwise we become the bad guys 😂  all she wanted was a hug…or to grab my… WHO KNOWS 😄


Day 19


I think the picture speaks for itself. My love helping my love get ready for her graduation.


Day 20


When all your hard work for @subjectivityuk‘s 3rd Year Anniversary is going better than expected and she’s the support nobody sees… 😉

If you would like to view the journey on istagram, it’s #HerBeautyNotHerLooks.

Everyone has a beauty worth searching for. It’s not longer enough to simply say everyone is beautiful in a bid to impress yours upon others. If you can’t find the beauty in someone else, then it is you who’s relationship without beauty is failing.


Mac Cosmetics Fans: A Face of Racism Beneath The Makeup


Above is a photo of Kylie Jenner following her “temporary” lip filler/injection procedure.
This and many more of her pictures that exhibit her ‘fuller’ lips were at the center of praise, inspiration and envy among her fans.


This is what appears to be a model wearing Mac makeup backstage a New York Fashion week show. The photo was uploaded to @maccosmetics’s instagram page, but unlike Kylie’s lips, this photo brought to the surface a racial onslaught against the image.

Racism has many faces but they all share the same heart. I have noticed that a lot of black women I know or have met through different walks of life have something in common; they constantly have to affirm that their beauty and features are acceptable. Why? Because they live and have been raised in a society that doesn’t accept them. As a man that favors the melanin beauty as a reflection of his own, my soul is grieved with each new story of a black woman’s beauty that has been buried under the universal aesthetic of beauty in western society.

You would think that the death of a race’s beauty would be enough, but western culture has a reputation for taking everything you own and claiming it as its own.

While it might be common knowledge that descendants of African culture tend to have larger lips, hips or overall features in general, a large consensus seem to be more comfortable in validating such features when associated with non-colored individuals as demonstrated in the above pictures. Is beauty’s preference in today’s culture as artificial as the makeup people wear?

You’ve probably not noticed that I’ve made a conscious effort to refer to racism as a cultural responsibility rather than name shaming the individuals that speak such hateful words. This is because racism is a form of cultural conditioning that subconsciously governs the behaviors and thoughts of the masses raised in a particular environment. It’s normal to picture our environment as our immediate surroundings but to truly understand your environment, you must think about everything your mind has been exposed to from the moment you were able to learn. This would include the books you read when you were a toddler, the media and advertisements that depict what’s in trend, what is beautiful and through lack of exposure, what isn’t.

As humans we identify with what we are familiar with. That to which we aren’t makes us uncomfortable. This is why a baby will often cry when it is picked up by someone else other than the people it sees everyday – it views you as unfamiliar therefore it is uncomfortable. So if the media and advertisement campaigns have for many decades associated beauty with Caucasian/lighter skinned individuals, perhaps we can begin to see this face of racism as a reaction of the misinformed.


I am tired of observing misinformed people destroying themselves for what they’re not born with, and then attempting to destroy others for what they are born with.

Beauty is where one of the many faces of racism resides. There is a need for more diversity in beauty, encouragement to accept our natural beauty, and less dependency on the media and advertisements to depict what it means to be beautiful.

This is a video that has touched that hearts of many, with an aim of reconnecting you with your natural beauty once again:

Charles Rare (Rare Thoughts)
Instagram: @Rare_Thoughts
Email: charles.rarethoughts@gmail.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ararethought

Why So Many People Fail To See The Beauty Within Themselves


When was the last time you told yourself that you were beautiful? In fact, can you remember a time you simply thought that you were beautiful? And by that, I’m not advising you to refer to a time when you were clothed in your favourite garments or cosmetics, and definitely not a time when your notion of beauty was attached to society and social networking site’s #NaturalButFiltered concepts of the word. Is it at all possible to acknowledge what we essentially are when we’re living in an environment where the acknowledgement of another person’s beauty harbours the underlying desire for what they have – an indirect acknowledgement of what we don’t?
You see, although beauty is believe to be lost, no one said it can’t be found.

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