Tag Archives: Gender equality

His & Hers: The Orgasm Rant

  • Today’s attitude toward gender equality in contrast to the 19th & 20th century shows promise for what’s to come.
  • Many men still believe in gender allocations, and there are women that believe it’s a man’s job to make her orgasm.
  • He embraced her waist from the rear and positioned her in close proximity to his libidinous intentions.
  • An orgasm isn’t just a physical experience. And at times, we have to be in the condition to receive it.

Last week The Huffington post published this article: Anna Kendrick Had The Best Orgasm Response To A Guy Giving Her An Orgasm.

The entire article can be summarised with the 3rd paragraph of the article that reads:

After a few months with a boyfriend, the “Pitch Perfect” actress writes that she still hadn’t had an orgasm with him. Her response when he finally got her there? A big high-five.

To which I commented:

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While it would be an enlightening endeavour to explore the intricacies of orgasms (another post perhaps), I’d much rather place volume on the reverberating whisper anchoring the rise of true gender equality.

Let’s reinforce the above point with some real life contextual scenarios.

A couple decide to move in together. They are both happy at the fact that their relationship is evolving to higher commitment value despite the risks involved. On their first day at work since the move, the girlfriend comes home to her boyfriend’s welcoming embrace and expressive desire for her to cook dinner, while playfully implying that it’s her role in their relationship.

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Susan just announced to her boyfriend Ade that they’re going to be parents. Ade, who was advised by doctors 5 years ago that due to a medical condition, his chances of impregnating a woman was less than 10%. Overwhelmed with the news the couple make early plans that are of interest to their newly beloved. Susan states that she’ll be taking maternity leave and expects Ade to take on extra hours at work. He expresses his desire to take maternity as well, to which Susan laughs, “but you’re the provider”

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It’s clear that although there is still a way to go, today’s attitude toward gender equality in contrast to the 19th & 20th century shows promise for what’s to come. But that’s not what frightens the foundation of equality; that would be the outdated patriarchal values that are inherited by the upcoming generation.

Blindboy from The Rubberbandits aired a refreshing statement to reflect the state of young men in the western hemisphere:

What these young men need is feminism!

I have worked and spoken to many men on this topic, and I can agree that while many of them direct their efforts to uphold inherited values that view women as inferior, such values only give rise to their own demise. The reason? The environment no longer correlates with their values.

The past environment saw women as ‘naturally’ weaker than men, and considered them unable to perform work requiring muscular or intellectual develop. The acceptance of this mentality saw women delegated to domestic chores while men maintained the ‘Provider’ status. But that is no longer the case in modern society. In the land of opportunity, it’s everyones job to do anything they want.

Albeit the case, many men still believe in gender allocations. And there are women that believe it’s a man’s job to make her orgasm.

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No one man or woman should be accountable for another person’s satisfaction – that goes for both inside and outside the bedroom. If you’re going to be an individual that supports equality then you’re going to have to learn to support your own orgasm in the same way you support your own happiness. Sounds harsh, right? Like I’m banishing women into the shadow realm of self made orgasms.

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But that’s far from the case. In The Huffington Post article, the writer wrote:

…Kendrick was right to give props; communication is key to good sex.

I must be getting old if a high five constitutes good communication in a sexual relationship. It was no surprise that her partner didn’t take the ‘compliment’ well.

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Communication in the bedroom is important. Besides the ‘dirty’ talk some of you might be thinking about, I’m referring to your ability to get to one your partner’s sexual personality which usually differs from their social personality.

Without getting into details, a good example would be to…scene:

He embraced her waist from the rear and positioned her in close proximity to his libidinous intentions. Her gaze locked while she slowly circled her rear to ensure that her intention matched the intensity he was displaying. She pressed herself firmly against him and laid the soft side of her face on his chest, and in the same motion she took hold of his left hand, prompting it to grope her exposed breast. She followed up with the words, “does this excite you?”

Now in my version of events, she’s not asking because she thinks she’s God’s gift to men. She’s asking to confirm whether he is actually enjoying it. Men who wear jeans or tailored trousers with a belt will tell you that as mentally stimulating as it may sound, it can also be pretty uncomfortable! The practice of testing the waters and communicating during these encounters can make a massive impact on the relationship. If I had the time, I would elaborate on how a women’s silence during sex can also be an emotional discomfort that is easily recognised with better communication on the man’s part (another article).

An orgasm isn’t just a physical experience. And at times, we have to be in a healthy condition to receive it – emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually if that’s your thing. While our partner’s can play a big role in ensuring the experience is a pleasurable and fulfilling one, we should always remember that we will always play the starring role when it comes to our own satisfaction!

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